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Friday, February 25, 2011


First of all, I am not a real expert on all things Twitter.  I only started using the social media site for my last job, where I was in charge of marketing.  I kept the account when I moved and have been trying to learn all the ins and outs of tweeting, or twatting as Dennis Leary claims is the past tense.  I've been tweeting regularly and promoting my blog shamelessly.  Thank you to everyone who reads!  But I'm still just a Twitter novice.

So back to the hashmark topic.  "#thatswhyyourmyex" was one of the trending topics on Twitter the other day.  I enjoy reading these trends and can definitely see how one can get addicted to Twitter.  But shouldn't it be #thatswhyyouremyex"?  I'm pretty sure it should be.

Anyway, I saw this topic a few days ago and this got me thinking of all the real "winners" I dated before I had the privilege of meeting and marrying my amazing and fabulous husband.  I feel beyond lucky and ecstatic to have met and fallen in love with this caring, thoughtful, endearing, responsible, intelligent, funny man.  Even better that he loves me back!  And his family is amazing.  His mother is a dream and his other close relatives are great.  I won the jackpot with my husband, and I'm so happy.  He really is the whole package, just what a girl looks for in a man but never really believed existed.  I was head over heels the moment I met him.

But I wasn't always so lucky in love.  There was a long string of douchebags I dated before my saintly husband came into the picture. For each guy I dated seriously, let me list the reasons #thatswhyyourmyex:

*You received a blow job in front of me at a party.

*You had a voice like a toddler.

*Your mother tried to poison me.

*You couldn’t hold your alcohol.

*You promised me great things your bank account couldn’t cash.  And you wore sneakers to a wedding.

*You used my cell phone to speak Farsi to your Uncle.

*You stole my ipod.

*You took my car for an evening and banged a stripper...  in my car.

*You told me you wanted to marry your dog.

*You didn’t make your own decisions, but believed in things because your family always held those same beliefs.

*You brought me shellacked seashells from Florida…  when I lived at the beach.  Wtf?

As you can see, I really know how to pick 'em!  Although some of these relationships were longer than others, and many brought on a lot of heartache, the experience of the relationship helped shape me into the woman I am today.  It wasn't always easy to endure the situations I inadvertently put myself in, but I don't regret any of it.  The path I walked led me to the happy, healthy life I'm living now.  I learned so much in dealing with these men not only about the individual, but about our society in general.  I also learned a lot about myself.  I really believe I'm a better person for having survived this string of bad romances.

I like to think of this as work towards where I am now rather than failed relationships.  Had any one of these relationships lasted, I wouldn't be nearly as happy as I am now.  It took surviving these bad relationships and ultimately bad breakups to get to the good one relationship.  

It took a lot of work and a lot of time to get to the place of happiness where I currently find myself, but each moment was worth it for the end result.  As my mother would say, I had to catch a lot of carp to get to the prized trout.  So glad I have my trout, though I'm not sure my hubby will like being compared to a delicious game fish.  

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