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Saturday, February 19, 2011

Crazy Ex Girlfriend and Backyard Arrests

So I have two topics of discussion for you today.  One of which stems from an incident involving my husband and one of his ex girlfriends.  But we will get to that one shortly.

First of all, last night my husband, puppy Lola and I were rudely awakened to the loud and close sound of multiple gunshots.  Actually, Lola and I were awakened to the sound of gunshots, I had to wake up the husband who slept right through the first shot.  There were several more shots after Mark looked around the house.  When he determined that no one was in the house threatening us harm, he put Lola and I in the windowless bathroom and called the Fayetteville Police and Sheriff's Department.  Only a few minutes later and the officers were racing through our yard to the lake front area behind our next door neighbor's yard.  It was an unusually warm night last night (only got down to 57) so we could hear the officers shouting at the suspects through our open bedroom window.  The officers ordered the suspects on the ground and to drop their weapon.  A short verbal exchange between suspects and officers ended with the suspects, two young men, in cuffs and the officers escorting the guys from our yard and the neighbor's to the group of police cars collected in our cul de sac.

From what I overheard, the men were likely drinking and just wanted to test out their gun.  They must have been under the influence, because anyone in their right mind wouldn't fire their gun at 12:30am in a highly populated, relatively quiet and upscale subdivision.  Regardless of their mental state, it meant for a rather frightening experience for my little family.

Now on to the ex girlfriend interaction.  Everyone has that ex that simply won't get the point; that you are no longer interested in them and don't want them in your life.  Instead, they clutch to the idea that there could still be a chance.  Their obsession has not run it's course and they will do all they can to hold on to that little bit of hope that the object of their affection could have a change of heart. While this is rarely the case, it never helps the obsessed to stop their attempts.

So is the case with Mark's ex.  While she was the one to end their relationship with infidelity, she can't seem to understand how Mark can possibly continue his life without her.  Numerous attempts at contact from her have been met with different responses.  At first, Mark responded to her advances with kind dismissal.  When this didn't work, he resorted to nastiness; this only seemed to encourage her.  From then on, he simply ignored her friend requests on Facebook or email messages.  From the time we began dating until now, he has ignored no less than 5 attempts at contact from this woman.

Her latest advance was brought to my attention a few days ago.  I decided that maybe a message from me discouraging her behavior might make her realize that her chances with my husband are nil.  My message to her read as follows:

Dear ______,

You don't know me, and likely don't know of me, but I am married to Mark Crenshaw. He recently alerted me to your continued attempts at contact with him via Facebook. While I understand your enthrallment, your contact is neither welcomed nor appropriate. Please cease and desist further contact with my husband. Thank you.

Katie Crenshaw

I didn't want her to feel attacked, but I wanted her to know that her advances are not going to be tolerated.  Her response to me was:

Do you really talk like this?! Lol I am married so whatever your making this out to sound like it isn't.. I'll definitely have to put this message on some kind of facebook fails website- definitely the funniest thing I've read in a while! I went to school with mark and that was it. So how about you "cease" writing lol

I don't know of any "facebook fails" website that would post my well written cease and desist letter.  There are no "fails" [shouldn't that be failure, if we were using proper English???] in what I wrote.  I believe my message was very clear.

Regardless, I'm not threatened by this woman.  She clearly still has feelings for my husband despite her marriage.  Mark and I have a wonderful, loving, strong and honest marriage.  Something I truly hope she can aspire to with her husband.

As for the "went to school with mark and that was it" comment.  I don't know why my honest and straightforward husband would lie to me about his relationship with some woman in his past.  They clearly were not just friends, though I'm sure he wishes that their relationship would have remained as such.

I believe that people should respect the vows of a marriage.  Once you're married, regular friendly correspondence with exes should "cease and desist".  If for no other reason than respect to your new spouse.  I'm not saying that you can never speak to them, and I know there are sometimes special circumstances.  But I can guarantee you that regardless of what your significant other says, they are somewhat uneasy when/if you speak with one or more of your exes.  Forget it if you're speaking with an ex without letting your girlfriend/boyfriend/wife/husband.  If you feel the need to speak to your ex and cover it up, you definitely should not be speaking with this person.  

On the flip side, if you are trying to contact your now married ex, you too should respect the vows of that marriage.  He/she clearly choose another over you, and while it may be painful, you should back off and allow him or her to enjoy the married life with his/her spouse.  

And yes, I do speak like that in my daily life.  Being well read, having a good education, and experiencing life as I have allowed me to speak and write with a wider range of vocabulary than perhaps the everyday American.  I take pride in the fact that I can compose an impressive letter, be it to my husband's ex via Facebook or to the President of the United States.  Just because you're communicating in a casual media does not mean that all one's elementary grammar, punctuation, syntax, and diction should be dismissed.

If this woman happens to read my blog, I hope she knows I don't wish ill on her.  I hope she can develop with her husband the kind of relationship Mark and I have.  As for her request for me to cease writing; never.


  1. I believe, that in fact she does speak like this and I find it one of the many things I like about her. Although, I try and defy my dear friend by using as much profanity as possible to try and get under her never seems to work. Sigh...I will keep at it but only when I am around her and my mother's company...That makes it even more amusing!

  2. And my dear friend...she knows who this Anonymous is...haha! English majorshmajor tell her! If you need any gangter back up, anonymous is always here...but I know you got it all under control.

  3. I do know this anon and I know she has a dirty dirty mouth! Miss you!